


Daddy's Got Work To Do.

by Fae_King



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Badass Jack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 02:20:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11682003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fae_King/pseuds/Fae_King
Summary: The saying, like father like son, is painfully true as a few men come to find out.





	Daddy's Got Work To Do.

Staring down at the white lined paper that had the shopping list engraved into its fibers, Dipper sighed. He loathed shopping for any reason, he normally convinced his adoring husband, Bill, to do it but said demon was busy with his clients and deals.

“Jack, what do you think daddy would want for dinner? Probably something Italian? We haven’t had that in forever huh?” Dipper’s voice was smooth and calm causing Jack to smile and nod, intensely sucking on his pacifier. The action made his mother smile fondly at his child, Jack was well beyond the years of needing a pacifier but the boy insisted on the desire to have it, so his parents let it slide. “Alright.” Settling on Italian the 26-year-old brunette fetched angle hair noodles and Bill’s favorite tomato sauce then thoughtfully set the items in the cart.

“Mommy, can we get cream-cream?” Letting his eyes wander over the list, Dipper nodded, making their way over to freezer aisle.

“I do not see why not my child.” The brunette let his son decide as the child pointed to the chocolate Ice-cream with fudge splotches morphed within it. “This is your daddy’s favorite too, it is almost scary with how much you take after him.” The man commented with a dramatic sigh snatching a tub from the freezer then Dipper handed it to Jack, who in turn, squealed with delight. “You are too cute. Oh, look daddy called.” Swiping his phone unlocking it, he answered his demonic husband’s call.

“Hello, my Dorito.” The human didn’t even need to see his husbands face to know he was one hundred percent done with Dipper which caused the human to chuckled lightly.

_“Hello, Rodrick, nice to hear your voice too. I was just curious as to why our son found it fitting to eat fucking China.”_ Jack’s face immediately held a shocked O, then gave his mother the best angelic look his half demon toddler body could muster.

“Why would someone eat the China? What kind of crazed person do you have to be?” Jack asked trying to defend himself while batting his eyelashes.

_“Jack I expect you to clean this mess when you get home young man,”_ Bill stated with a heavy sigh, which in turn caused his son to groan and tilt his head back like an angsty teen.

“Alright Bill, I will make sure, Jack will clean it when he gets home.” Situating the phone to rest upon his shoulder he went and retrieved frozen vegetables. Looking at his watch while doing so his brows furrowed. “By the way, you are home early. Are you alright love?” The demon’s human commentated, moving on to look at various types of bread, hunting for his love’s favorite.

_“Yeah, Pine tree I am.”_ The dream king murmured darkly. _“The person I was going to make a deal set a trap. They are now unliving.”_ Dipper’s joyous expression was exchanged for grim hardened features.

“Good.” He muttered, he would rather have this man dead then Bill. “I picked up some Italian, and your child picked Ice-cream.” Looking from Jack he noticed men approaching with bandanas and disgustedly wicked smiles on their faces. “Hey, Baby I have to go, I love you.” Bill was taken back by the sudden need for release.

_“Alright, love you too.”_ His human hung up stuffing the phone back into his pocket, then faced the three men smirking who eyed him from head to toe.

“May I help you, gentlemen?” Dipper instinctively wrapped his arms around Jack, a way of protection and to show he did indeed feel threatened by their looming presence.

“Hey, there pretty boy.” Jack cocked his brow at the men in annoyance but let it slide, he, after all, was an understanding person; although his mother wasn’t pretty, he was beautiful, just like how daddy said. “Wanna bring that fine ass over here and we could get freaky?” Jack furrowed his brows, these men were pushing the envelope, he may not have understood the words the men were saying, but his mommy’s face wasn’t happy.

“Excuse me?! I am married!” The brunette shrieked highly offended, as he backed away from the men with his child and cart in tow.

“Oh, dat doesn’t bother us baby boy.” An Irish voice cooed as he licked his lips eyeing Rodrick and his fit and toned body.

“Well it bothers me, so fuck right off gentlemen.” Dipper spat like some savage animal as he resumed his hunt for bread, hoping, praying to whatever God there may be that these men didn’t force his hand. He never enjoyed stirring up violence in front of Jack.

“You stupid little bitch!” A heavier set Latino man said from the back of the group causing the Irish man to snicker and Jack to let out an animalistic growl as he longed to bite a finger off one of these men. Then again who knows what he'd contract from being within a foot of them.

“Oh,” Dipper deadpanned examining the various prices. “How flattering, and with that tongue, you’ll get nowhere with someone decent. It’s sad, your own hoes won’t even fuck you huh?” His tone was just slathered with sass, and Jack was sure that it could penetrate all layers of hell.  
The men scowled and further approached Dipper and his son, which only confirmed the brunettes theory. These men were as useless and brainless as a pile of rocks on a busy road.

“Get the fuck away from my child you disgusting son of a bitch.” This gang of men had no qualms for Rodrick's warnings, and he was getting ready to brawl if they took a step closer to his son.

“Looks like we are going to have to drag this one outta of here huh boss?” The Irish man latched onto Dipper’s wrist and was in the process of overpowering him.

“Let go of me this instant!” Dipper shrieked, attracting worried attention to himself and the scene. Inhaling deeply, Jack set down his tub of ice cream and rubbed his temples with his small hands.

Jack was already running deathly thin on patients when these men waltz over, so one could imagine the lack of tolerance he had at this moment. No one got to treat his mommy so poorly, not even his daddy. Spitting out his pacifier he turned to the men with a very hateful glare.

“Aww, what ya gonna do bout it kid?” One of the larger men said superiorly, and Jack’s eyes grew wide while his pupils shrunk in size, feeling all his former self-control flee.

“What. Am. I. Going. To. Do. About. It?” He spat out each word with enough chill to strike fear into the hearts of the worst villains. “It is funny how dumb you are! I am going to slowly extract your beating heart from your chest, and show it to you before your soul fades from this world.” The men began to back up nervously, the grip that previously bond Dipper to these men was cut loose. “Then I will take your deceased body and expertly skin you, turning you into a nice pair Oxford shoes. Once I have my shoes, I’ll take your fleshy body and chop you up into small pieces and use your meat to feed forest animals in need.” Jack let out a low and sinister chuckle one far different from his father’s. “And on the off chance I happen to spare your pathetic meat sack lives, I will haunt and torture your dreams for the rest of your days, which I can promise won’t be long.” The light brunette child began to smile crazed. “And if I don’t scare you pathetic sacks then my daddy will.”  
The men were definitely apprehensive and disturbed, They backed away muttering a thousand apologies tripping over one another trying, desperate to get away from the adorable but sick child, and possibly the father. Dipper blankly stared as his child as Jack simply put the pacifier back into his mouth and sucked on it staring up at his mother, awaiting the cart to move and the shopping to resume.

“O-Oh, my God.” Rodrick was in shock but then shook his head. “I don’t know why I am surprised, you are your father's child.” A soft smile played on Dipper’s lips as he kissed his son’s forehead. “Thank you for saving me, my little hero.”

“You’re welcome mommy!” Dipper gushed and lifted his son out of the cart pulling him in for a tight hug while all of those around just watched in horror. Blatantly ignoring them or sending dark glances at to the snobbish soccer moms, Jack softly sighed and wrapped his arms Dipper’s neck.

“What’s the matter little Pine Cone?” The golden eyed boy groaned at the name, it was bad enough his dad called him that, never the less he removed his pacifier and spoke.

“Moooommmyyy I’m not a Pine Cone! And,” Jack paused, assembling his words. “What were those men trying to do to you? Why would they do that? I have never seen Daddy say those things to you.” Dipper was take off guard by the slew of questions and Jack’s statement about Bill. He needed to find a way, to tell the truth, but bend it enough that he wouldn’t ruin his son’s innocents.

“Those men wanted something that I have already given your father, they wanted my love.” His son nodded with furrowed brows and Rodrick patted himself on the back for successfully using verbal Irony without it being sarcasm. “And your daddy has all my love, I would never want to share it with anyone else but him. And to answer your last bit,” Dipper silenced himself as he took in a deep breath. “Daddy doesn’t think he should treat me that way, and I think no one should ever treat anyone like that.” Lightly smiling he glanced down at his darling son before placing the bread in the basket. “Can you make me a promise?”

“Yes.” Jack didn’t waste a second in answering which caused his mother to giggle.

“Please don't treat anyone that way, nor let anyone treat you that way. Always be the bigger man.” The light Burnett nodded features proud and heroic as he stored that promise in a compartment with in his brain.

“So be like Daddy and be a gentleman!” Dipper tapped the boy’s nose and nodded, deciding that not to spoil his son’s view of his father.“Exactly, now let's get home, daddy is waiting for us!” Jack nodded with a smile as he stuck the pacifier back into his mouth.

~~~

By the time Dipper and Jack got home it was already five thirty and a certain demon was pacing the living room deeply concerned, fretting over possible tragedies.

“Honey? We’re home!” Dipper gracefully called out as Bill let out a sigh of relief, racing to the door he scooped up his lovely wife and darling son.

“Oh, I was so worried! What happened Pine tree? You abruptly hung up on me!” His human sighed and smiled, nuzzling underneath his partner’s slight scratch chin

“Jack, I am sure would be more than happy to tell you over dinner.” The boy let out a dark chuckled and his aura and attitude became vexed which caused the demon to cock a curious brow. “It was a long day,” He finally let out as he passed their son over to Bill. “Anywho I am going to start dinner, it should be done in thirty minutes. How about you get Jack in the shower okay?”  
The demon nodded and took his sole son up stairs to the master bedroom, his brain was storming with possible scenarios of what could have been today.

“Daddy!” His son shouted in joy as he clung to Bill like a monkey would a tree. “Daddy, I have some questions. Do you think you could answer them after dinner please?” Bill shot a baffled glance and slowly nodded, the last time Jack asked him a question his wife nearly beat him and he was forced to sleep on the couch.

“Depends on what you want to know Pine cone. So… Did anything bad happen to your mother and you today?” He asked while he set Jack down and drew a bath along with setting out a fresh dry towel for his ‘mini me’.

“Mhmm yes? I’m not sure, mommy said we would discuss it over dinner yes?” The golden blond suited man nodded in agreement as his sighed. He loathed having to wait for answers and damn his child for paying attention to what his mother said.

“Okay, holler if you need anything kiddo.” Jack nodded and soon began to play with his bath toys as Bill trotted down stairs to his wife in concern. Dipper was softly humming as he stirred the noodles and warmed up the sauce, completely oblivious of his husband's presence until he felt a pair of arms snake around his waist.

“Hey.” Dipper sighed contently and reclined against Bill’s chest as he felt a gloved hand stroke his hair soothingly.

“Hey, yourself Pine tree.” The demon purred as he began to pepper kisses up the sides of his human’s neck and jawline. “So, do I need to murder someone?” The questioned caused the star kissed man to chuckle and plant a soft kiss upon his lover’s lips.

“I guess that is your call, but I can say I am very proud of our son.” He awkwardly coughed and stirred the meat sauce. “And disturbed. Some of the things he said today.” Dipper trailed off shaking his head. “I thought he, he wasn’t our Jack, he wasn’t our five-year-old carefree cutie. He snapped today and was a completely different child Bill.” Bill cocked a curious brow urging his wife to go on with the story. “Though I suppose he had a good reason, still, I think you need to work with him on how to handle emotions. Especially anger.” Hungry for more information the demon probed the situation further.

“Rodrick, did something happen to you and Jack at the store today?” He felt the man in his arms sigh and nod as he broke from his husband’s embrace to drain the pasta. “Yes-” Before he could finish his sentence, Jack came down and asked if he could set the table. “Oh, yes of course, and don’t eat the plates! I am about to serve dinner alright?” The boy rolled his fiery irises as his father shot an upset look wondering why he cursed with a son that ate his favorite things.

“You know, I think God has sent this to punish me for the wrongs I have done.” Point to his offspring that was licking its plate impatiently. “Are you sure have a son and not a thing?” The comment caused the spring forest eyed male in the room to chuckle as he brought the pots to the table.

“Aww, and here I thought you wanted another one,” Smirking, he gave Jack a helping of food then moved on to Bill. “With our luck, we’d have twins. And they would both be boy crazed girls.”

“Ugh, no thank you. I don’t need three kids ruining my items. _Jack_.” He put heavy emphasis on the word as his spawn just looked back at him with the same face his grace his mother hours previous.

“I simply don’t know what you are talking about father.” Cheekily grinning his looked up to see the demon’s unamused face and giggled. “So, how was your day daddy?” He asked calmly changing the subject as the three males ate.  
Sitting back, Bill shifted through his day and tried to find parts that proper table talk and would be appropriate for his son to know about, mind you Jack wasn’t all filled in on his father's profession quite yet. As his memories reeled to an end he concluded that none of them were suitable to tell so he settled on a lie.

“It was a rather slow and boring day, nothing much happened, but what I want to know is how did your day go?” Dipper cleared his throat grabbing the attention of the two non-humans while placing a napkin on his lap, watching the other two follow suit then spoke.

“It was peculiar, you should tell him, Jack.” The boy nodded and the dark aura reappeared making Bill intensively listen to what the boy had to say.

“Well,” He finished chewing the food in his mouth and drank his milk swiftly, making a disgruntled face. “Three men came up to mommy, they called him pretty which mom is not, mommy is beautiful,” The statement caused a snort from one and an approving nod from the other male. “So yadda yadda, mommy tells them to scram and they don't, and then they touched mommy.” Sighing in annoyance he continued, hatefully staring at his food as if they were the fiends that laid their disgusting hands on his mother. “So, I told them that if they didn’t stop I was going to rip their hearts out and show it to them before they died and after they departed from this world, I’d skin them and make them into a nice pair of shoes. I also informed them that I’d chop them up and feed them to the forest animals.”  
He finished and Bill sat in pure awe and astonishment, he had no words. Nothing came to mind, how could it? His son single handedly potentially saved Dipper from being raped or worse, this was something that couldn’t go unnoticed or unrewarded.

“He also said something else, go on, tell your father. I am sure it will make his day.” Dipper chirped, sipping his coffee, enjoying watching his husband be lost for words for once.

“I said and I quote, _’And If I don’t scare you, my daddy will.’_ ” Jack held his breath, his father hadn’t uttered a word since he began and now he was concerned. “Did I do something wrong?” He mustered up the courage to ask and was surprised to see his father’s perplexed face.

“Absolutely not Pine Cone, you did what any good man would have, and for that, I am immensely proud and grateful.” He stated picking his son and threw him in the air like he would when Jack was a baby. “But, you know you can’t do that at school, there are going to be mean kids and you can’t scare them like that.” Jack looked addled but soon nodded as his father brought him in for a tight embrace.  
A few hours passed the demon and his family without much care for notice. A while ago Jack fell asleep on his father’s lap probably enjoy the pleasant dreams that Bill made sure stayed pleasant as Dipper leaned against his husband's shoulder slowly begin to drift. Softly smiling he used his power to slip his wife asleep as he carried them both to their respective rooms. Laying his wife down first then his child in Jack’s room.

“I can not explain how proud I am of you today Jack,” He said with a hushed tone fearing of waking the child. “I consider myself very blessed to have had you as my son. Even though you eat all of the nice China.” He smiled as he brushed his son’s amber hair out of his face and kissed his forehead. “Goodnight.”  
Stepping from the room, silently closing the door, the demon smiled adjusting his suit and gloves.

“Daddy’s got some work to do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed this, it nearly got me grounded (I have a bad habit of staying up late to write or read.) Also, it was a pain in the ass to write and fix. So, I hope my efforts were not in vein. Feel free to leave comments on any mistakes I made, but please don't be rude. There isn't any reason for it. Other than that, hope that you have a fun time reading this and other works. 
> 
> -F.K


End file.
